What Tamoxifen Actually Feels Like (so far)
I’m going to be honest with you here, endocrine (hormone) therapy was the part of this whole process that terrified me the most. I think because the list of possible side effects is long and scary, AND this stage of treatment lasts a minimum of 5 years, I was so worried that I would feel like absolute garbage for that entire time.
My tamoxifen journey so far (3 months in at this point) has had it’s ups and downs but I found that the side effects have come in waves.
Wave 1 - the beginning of hot flashes and night sweats. This one was quick and started day 3. My first hot flash was unreal. I had to strip down and lay on the cold bathroom floor drenched in sweat. I am happy to say that level of intensity hasn’t happened again. The night sweats continue but are mostly manageable and day time hot flashes are few and far between.
Wave 2 - fatigue, constipation, weird cycles. A week to two weeks in the fatigue settled in. I thought I was tired when I had 4 kids under 6. I was not. this tam tired was unreal. We all know the best way to deal with fatigue is to move more but it felt impossible. I tried my best but napped a lot. My ‘cycle’ also sort of happened around this time. I am still tracking to see what’s what but my cycle was due and it… maybe arrived? a few days of brown spotting were it. 45 days later, the same thing happened. Will I go back to a normal cycle? Who knows. Last on this wave, constipation. Gross. My oncology nurses suggested to forgo the Metamucil and use Restoralax instead. It definitely helped! In general, I’ve upped my fibre intake and focusing on whole foods plus a ton of water and that symptom has, thankfully, disappeared.
Wave 3 - mood changes and depression. This was by far the most intense symptom for me, starting about 4 weeks after I started on tam. It affected every facet of my life. It was hard to get out of bed, hard to engage in activities, hard to talk to people, hard to care. I absolutely do not believe in suffering unnecessarily so I asked my oncology team for an anti-depressant. When that finally kicked in, it was a night and day difference. I’m happy to report I like people again and am happy to get up and do things.
Wave 4 - I’m currently here dealing with sleep issues. My naturopath who works in integrative oncology has suggested a combo of magnesium bisglycinate and low dose melatonin to help. Fingers crossed!
My hope is that my body will settle into a new normal because right now, I don’t feel great. As I am more intentional about supporting myself through this, I am confident I will feel better.
